Good Times

The Bestfriend is headed to his house in Batangas today. I know because he called yesterday and said it in passing.

Ah yes, I was asking if he wanted to attend the Nihongo Fiesta at MOA today. That’s when he told me he’s going to Batangas with his college friends, a send-out party for one who’s going to work in Taiwan.

His house in Batangas has always been a place of party for his friends. Been there a couple of times but not to party. The first time was a fiesta and I got invited by another friend who’s also from that area. The other time was when we went mountain climbing, in a mountain their family owned. Cool, eh? Yea. He’s that cool.

But why don’t I get to party at their house in Batangas? Well, I never really like to party, but the main reason why I don’t is that I never get invited to his birthday parties. I get invited to, like, drinks with our few common friends, but to main parties like the ones he does in Batangas or even here in Manila, I’m always left behind.

There are times, during our few-and-far-between serious conversations, when I jokingly lash at him about my non-invitation. He’d reply with stuff like I’m part of his family already and I need no invitation to come, or that I know when his birthday is and that it’s already up to me if I wanna come, invited or not.

Okay I’m like family already (wow) but if I really am, won’t you care about my attendance at all? And besides, I’m oftentimes not notified of these parties. Like I only learn about them (a) a few hours before the party; (b) when the party is already ongoing; or (c) after the party when everyone else is already talking about it.

Anyway, my now-you-see-now-you-don’t niece was his schoolmate in elementary and high school. My niece was a couple of years his junior. During the course of our friendship, he also became friends with my niece.

And my niece, when she’s available, has always been present in his parties – Batangas or Manila. And my niece goes because she receives invites – text messages or otherwise.

It pains me to think that I don’t get invited because he doesn’t like showing me to his other friends.

It pains me to think that he invites everyone except me.

It pains me to think that I’m only being seek during the bad times.

But whatever his reasons for not inviting me are, I don’t really wanna know. It already hurts me to guess, I know it will hurt me more to have my guesses confirmed. And it will hurt me the most if I hear the confirmation coming out of his mouth.

Of course, he’s almost always present during my celebrations. But sharing a good time because I invited him is so different than sharing a good time because he invited me. It’s like I want him to be in my good times, but does he also want me to be in his? My being non-invited somehow tells me that my presence really doesn’t matter in his good times.